Life in the SC

Its hard to believe that Sonja and I moved down here to SC over a month and a half ago. It has definitely been the busiest month and a half of my life, and while it has been pretty difficult at times, it has also brought its share of blessings, by the hand of our God, who loves us and has been faithful to us through all the strangeness and craziness involved in our transplant from PA. Sonja and I have struggled with some difficult things since we have been here. But we both realized Sunday that we need to be careful not to complain (or being a “malcontent”- See book of Jude), but to count our blessings.

So, by means of an update, I decided to list some of the blessings we enjoyed since our arrival in SC.

1) The Daily Grind?- I am really enjoying my job. I don’t know if the church here is enjoying me (I know for certain that they, especially the youth groupers, are enjoying Sonja), but I am enjoying the fact that I am not juggling both full-time school as well as church work. The last few weeks I have realized what a blessing it is to be here working with Pastor Bob Selph, Pastor Chad Clint, Chris Marley (Summer Intern), and Penelope Cansler & Lorna Riles (our church secretaries). I really have a ton of respect for these people. And, surprise, I didn’t expect working at Grace to be this busy, but also not this much fun. The RYM trip really was a blast, and its been a lot of fun to teach both HS Sunday School (racing through the book of Jude), as well as begin doing our Wednesday night youth group (talking about passages in which Jesus surprises us). The downside of enjoying this is that it makes me miss my friends at FRBC in Media all the more.

2) Rekindling a Romance- I have also gotten to spend quality time with my wife which has been wonderful. Our anniversary getaway, which though it only lasted 2 days and 2 nights, was such a wonderful vacation for just the two of us. The last couple weeks, as we have shopped for houses together, enjoyed escaping together, sat on the front porch together, gotten threatened with a lawsuit together, and done youth group together, I think we have both realized that while we at times get annoyed with each other, we really do enjoy each other and we really are in this for the long haul. To have a wife, who is as faithful and loyal (and beautiful) as my wife, is a huge blessing. It is when that faithfulness and loyalty is tested by difficult circumstances (inability to find a house, leaving family, friends, and job behind, etc), that it’s true worth is proven. I love my wife. And even better: my wife loves me and has followed me to the ends of the earth (ok, SC as a state isn’t that bad, but its been pretty hot and humid here lately).

3) God’s Gracious Timing- I am so thankful that I got to spend a few weeks with my granddad before he passed away last Tuesday. Right up until the end, Grandpa was himself- a funny, happy man who stubbornly trusted his God, loved his Savior, and longed to depart this world for the next. I loved when I got to read the Psalms to him in his last days. I loved that he prayed for me aloud three weeks ago that I would be a faithful preacher and teacher of God’s word. I loved when a few weeks ago, I walked into his room, thinking he was asleep (his eyes were closed), took him by the hand, and he jumped, opened his eyes, squeezed my hand, and with comic disappointment said, “Aw, I was hoping you were Jesus.” J I loved how my grandma refused to let anyone else take care of grandpa even in the last, most difficult hours, and said, “I’ve taken care of him for over 50 years. Why would anyone think I’d want to quit doing it now?” That is a Christ-like covenant faithfulness we rarely see in our society.

4) Common Taste- One thing Sonja and I have been amazed at as we have house hunted and perused possible places of abode, is that we have such similar tastes. We really do like all the same stuff (with regard to houses, room décor, and fabric for re-upholstering our “Craig’s-list” dining room set). I think that has surprised us both, but it has been very encouraging as I don’t think we’ve had one argument about any of this stuff. (though we have argued about a lot of other stuff J).

5) Zaxby’s Chicken- Yeah, this one seems a little bit trite, but Wow, this chicken is better than Chick-fil-a. Sorry Christy Thawley, you know I love CFA, but I forgot how good Zaxby’s Chicken is. Especially with their Zax’ sauce. Unbeatable.

6) Good Help- Our real estate agent (Pat Smith) has been incredible. Despite the fact that we dragged her through 50 some odd houses, and now both she and us are threatened by lawsuits because of some jerks at Keystone Homes, Pat has been the most faithful, gracious, humorous, and tasteful agent I could possibly imagine. I firmly believe she would go to hell and back for us if she thought it would benefit us. Sonja and I have thoroughly enjoyed and benefited from her knowledge, insight, patience, and simple good taste.

7) God’s Patience- One other huge blessing that Sonja and I have enjoyed is God’s patience in teaching us and patiently enduring our slowness to learn and trust. Both Sonja and I have really been forced to call out to God in a lot of ways for a lot of things since moving down here. And in some big ways, like our housing situation for example, he has yet to answer like we asked.

Surprisingly though, it has been such a blessing for us to struggle with some of these hard things. It has caused both of us to question our own hearts and ask, “why do we love and follow Jesus Christ?” Simply put, “do I love him just because of the nice things he gives me, or do I love him for who he is?” Do I just love the gifts, or do I actually delight even more in the Giver, when the gifts don’t always come out like I want? I know we haven’t been through anything that would qualify as an “excruciating trial.” But it has caused both of us to remember that we love him because he first loved us. Even when he doesn’t give me what I want, will I remain faithful, or will I get bitter and turn away?

I think I am learning about what it means to both trust Jesus for who he says he is, and also to just delight in him. Is my God, Jesus Christ, truly the delight of my heart, or am I just using him to get what I really want? Hopefully, I am being tested and proven faithful. Anyway, its been a good time of re-centering, though not easy.

So, even though we have felt truly stressed and weighed down with quite a few heavy burdens, we are finding some blessings in the midst of the craziness of it all. God will be faithful to us in his timing, which is better than ours.

Going Home Party

This past Thursday night we had the viewing for Paul's Grandpa. I was a bit nervous because I think the last time I went to a viewing was for my great grandma when I was in middle school. But it was a lot of fun. Lots of people came from the church and the family was all there. Even some of the doctors came. Everyone hung out and talked and had a great time. We were all at peace with Grandpa's homecoming. It makes such a difference when a person knows Jesus. It wasn't a sad occasion. It was a celebration. I think Grandpa Ackroyd would have been proud.

The next day we had a service at church. Paul's sister Megan sang the Lord's prayer and her husband Mark played a couple of Grandpa's favorite hymns on the trumpet. We then headed to the grave site where the Navy took over. Paul's Grandpa was in the Navy for over 20 years and it was really neat to see how they honored him and his wife.

We then headed back home where some of the lady's from the church had prepared a huge spread of food. We spent the day hanging out together as a family.

Going to be with our Lord

At 2pm this afternoon Paul's Grandpa, George Ackroyd, went to be with his Lord. George's love for and confidence in his savior Jesus Christ has been an amazing testimony during his last days. We rejoice for him as he is now with Jesus.

Please pray for Jean, Paul's Grandma, and all the rest of the family as they grieve the loss of a very special man of God.

Jesus, I want to be resting, resting

Busy! Thats been the last week for Sonja and I. Though we took Monday and half of Tuesday off, we've been going strong every since. Tuesday night, I attended our elder's meeting, then Wednesday, I had youth group, followed by deacon's meeting, then Thursday we hung out with the college agers, and then I went to see "The Dark Knight" at midnight. Its been crazy. Plus we still are stuck in this frustrating housing situation, waiting to hear from the "blue shutter" builders whether or not they are truly going to sue us, or just keep threatening to do so.

On top of all that, my granddad is still just struggling with life day by day. I know he doesn't have much time left, and all he wants is to go home and be with Jesus in heaven.

In the midst of all of this, Sonja and I are having a hard time just resting and trusting in Jesus. Both of us are wrestling a lot with adjusting to being away from Pennsylvania and the life we knew in Media. You don't realize how comfortable things were, and how much you enjoyed that comfort, until you step outside of it begin realizing how much of life is really outside of your control.

God has been good though in giving Sonja and I good time together to talk and just hang out together. We really enjoyed ourselves at the Biltmore Monday, and then Tuesday going antiques shopping in Landrum, SC. We had a mini date Thursday before the college get-together when we went and shopped for fabrics to re-upholster our recently purchased used dining room set. Then Friday, we spent some more time shopping in fabric stores, and hanging out.
For dinner we went on a date to Simpsonville to eat dinner at a restaurant one of our youth groupers works at (the Pasta House in downtown Simpsonville), which proved to be an excellent date with great food and good times. We then spent the rest of the evening playing a hilariously funny game (similar to apples to apples) with Anna (Angone), and Tj (Anna's brother), and his wife. It was a good day, busy, but fun.

Its not enough though. We both are sensing the need for something more, something deeper, and someone to rest and trust in.

Sonja and I are both realizing how much of an adjustment it is to move from one place to another. Both of us feel busy and rushed all the time. I realized today, that i don't know that i can honestly sing the song, "Jesus, I am resting, resting, in the joy of what thou art," because i have been too busy to remember that he truly is my life. I want to be resting in him, but amidst the chaos of life, its just hard to rest and trust in someone else's goodness and control.

So, i guess we fight to rest, and we rest to fight. We would both appreciate your prayers that we would be able to rest in his goodness, his timing, and his control of our lives. We know that he is stretching us here because we both need to grow. We do look forward to the days ahead, when its not so busy. (or at least the busyness doesn't feel so intense).

Anyway, we are putting our trust in the Lord, for where else shall we go, he alone has the words of life. And he makes big promises:

Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and i will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for i am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

2 Years Down....Many More To Come

We got back from our RYM trip late Saturday night. Sunday morning Phil Taggart, from our church in Media, pleasantly surprised us with a visit. We had a nice lunch with him and the family after church. Paul and I then made reservations for that night at the Red Horse Inn (45min from the house) to get away and celebrate our anniversary. After going to the evening service and talking to many people afterwards, we quickly packed and headed out to the bed & breakfast. Paul’s mom had recommended it and it was so wonderful. The room and the view was beautiful. We had a balcony that looked out to the Blue Ridge Mountains. We slept in the following morning and visited the Biltmore in the afternoon. I had never been to the Biltmore before and it was beautiful! We had such a great time and it was so relaxing. I wish I was still there! Enjoy the pictures.

RYM Conference

Last week we took 33 High School Students from our church to an RYM (Reformed Youth Ministries) conference in Panama City, Florida (right across the street from the beach). Close to 1500 high school kids from around the country came out to the event. It was Paul's second week on the job, so we were jumping right in and I can't think of a better way to do it.

We all met at the church at 4:30am Monday morning to begin the adventure. Paul drove one of the three big vans and I slept in the front seat next to him. We arrived early afternoon and moved into our rooms. I was in a room with 10 high school girls and one college girl named Kristen who was also a chaperon. At first, I have to say, I was pretty overwhelmed. I had never met any of these girls before and I had never been to a RYM conference before. I also knew they were looking to me to be their youth leader. That's pretty intimidating when you feel like a fish out of water.

Paul was in a room with some of the guys across campus. I didn’t get to see him much besides lunch and dinner which didn’t lend itself to much conversation since the kids loved doing loud chants and cheers. It was really hard because he was my only 'safe' person. But being put in this experience was so good for me. It woke me up to how much I really do depend on my husband when things get hard or uncomfortable instead of asking the Lord for help. So I spent a lot of time talking to God. I learned that my hope and comfort and stability and strength and joy and energy has to come from God.

One night, some of the girl chaperons (who are young themselves, one just graduated high school herself) were feeling overwhelmed. So I talked with them, listened to them, and encouraged them until 2am. I had only 4 hours of sleep the night before and I knew I was going to have to get up in 4 hours again. I started to think about how tired I was going to be the next morning while one girl was crying and pouring her heart out. But then I remembered that I was here to minister and serve. I needed to build relationships with these girls and an opportunity had presented itself (God’s timing is not ours). Before I went to bed that night I prayed that God would honor my staying up late to hang out with these girls by giving me lots of energy for the next day. And he answered! The next morning I woke up before my alarm and was feeling great. I never felt tired and had so much fun hanging out with all the kids.

Every day we had two classes in the morning, games in the afternoon, and singing and a speaker in the evening. The theme of the week was The Incarnation. The speaker was excellent and his talks and the morning classes lent themselves to great small group and individual conversations. Paul also led a discussion with our youth group every night after the speaker. These were some of my favorite times because Paul encouraged them to talk and share where they were at spiritually and how they were making sense of what they were learning or what they were struggling with. It was neat to see how open and honest the kids were and how their honesty encouraged others in the group. We were experiencing real fellowship and it was so cool.

This week also encouraged me that I can do this youth ministry stuff and that God has gifted me in this area. It wasn’t hard for me to reach out and connect to the girls. It was very natural. The girls seemed to trust me and enjoy being around me. And I really enjoyed them. I had some great conversations that would just happen, in the room, walking to dinner, or on the beach. By the end of the week Paul and I felt like we had formed real relationships with the kids and can’t wait to continue to hang out with them in the future.

Ups and Downs in the Housing Adventure

Sorry its been so long since the last posting, but things have been crazy.

In a bizarre twist of circumstances, Sonja and I have made a difficult but somewhat forced decision to withdraw our offer on "Blue Shutters." :( Its kind of a long story, but the short of it is that we were getting more and more uncomfortable with the builder of "Blue Shutters." There were many problems which seemed to come up with the builder (like a really shady mortgage deal), as well as multiple things that needed to be fixed on the house (the chief of which was the hardwood floors), and the builder didn't seem very inclined to get some of the more important things fixed.

So, this past Thursday afternoon, Sonja, I, and our wonderful realtor and friend (Pat Smith) did a walk-through on the house to re-inspect all the areas we had previously marked to be fixed. Immediately, upon walking in the house, we were met by the builder, and the regional supervisor for Keystone Builders, and before we had even looked at any of the other issues with the house, the supervisor, in a rude manner, informed us that the hardwood floors (which are really bad- you couldn't slide your shoe over any of it with out your foot catching on the edges) are not going to be improved at all, and that we better just get over it, because the floors are "within industry standards" (which means that the edges of the hardwood floors don't stick up further than a credit card width).

While credit cards are pretty thin items, you would definitely notice one, if it was glued to your hardwood floors, so that every time your foot slid over it, it caught on the edge of the shoe, and you tripped. You would notice it even more, if there were 20 or so such places all over your dining room floor, as well as your entry way, and the main hallway, and the downstairs bathroom. It was pretty absurd to be told that "industry standards" allow such poor flooring.

After days, and even weeks of prayer over this house, it seemed like every time we tried to take a step forward with this house, some other annoying thing would prevent us from moving forward. After 5 or so such times, (as well as many increasingly stressful and sleepless nights for Sonja and I), we decided that we weren't very excited about the house. Then after our "run-in" with the builder and the supervisor (where the builder further justified problems with the house, that "didn't need correction" and were "within the bounds of normal human error"), we decided that it just wasn't worth it. If the builder was already giving us grief about fixing problems with the house (and there were quite a few, for a brand new house), and we hadn't yet paid him for the house, then I would hate to think what he would be like once he had our money.

So being convinced that God would have us look elsewhere, we stumbled upon our new house of interest- "Ashley Oaks" (thats the name of the subdivision where our potential "project" is located). This house is beautiful on the outside, has a great backyard, tons of square footage, and is within biking distance (about .4 miles) from the church. It has a screened in back porch, a swing on the front porch, 3 bedrooms, a giant FROG ("finished room over garage"), and wonderful floorplan.

However, the inside of "Ashley Oaks" is in utter disrepair. It hasn't been updated (or possibly even vacuumed/cleaned) in nearly 20 years. Since its in such bad shape, its price would be lower, and our payments would be lower. It would take a ton of work however, (knocking out a few walls and such), but a friend and church-member who is a full-time home-improvement specialist, gave us an estimate to update and repair the house which puts the house very much within our range.

So, Sonja and I put in an offer on the house today, and we are waiting for a response. :) Keep us in your prayers as our house-hunting adventure continues.

Here are some pictures to whet your appetite. Or to make you queasy because of all the dirt, grime, and bad decorating. Fortunately, we won't share the smell with you.

Additional Ashely Oaks Pics